Before I had kids, I was completely self-absorbed and enjoyed spending my time and money on me. I wrote a blog for a while back then too, it was mostly about the things I had bought, hence the name “What She Bought”. I have since forgotten how to access the blog but managed to pull it up in a google search tonight, and just wanted to post my favorite entry so I never forget where I have come from and who I am now.
Here is a classic case of my shopping issues. There always seems to be some kind of problem, but this situation has all the problems compiled into one.
It starts out very innocently, me on facebook looking at the usual facebook stuff, when I notice this interesting advertisement in the sidebar of the screen.
Laser Hair Removal – Xemos is a home laser hair removal system that permanently removes unwanted hair virtually anywhere on your body. Permanent Home Laser Hair Removal Product
OMG!!!! What a great idea. I was, at the time, paying to have laser hair removal every two months at a rate of 200 dollars a visit, and I still had at least three more visits to go. If I bought this, at 300 dollars, I would be saving money. I could do my entire body (currently I was just doing half leg and armpits) and then sell it on eBay when I didn’t need it anymore, basically I would be getting my hair removal for free. I am a financial genius.
I ordered it without hesitation; I guess I should take this time to inform you that I am not a rich person. I am not poor, but 300 dollars is money that I could use for practical things like that mouth guard I should be wearing at night to stop me from grinding me teeth away. In any case I spent it. I ordered it and begun to wait with excitement for the arrival of my machine and my great new hair free life.
It took about a month before it finally arrived. I was so excited. I opened the package, so professionally wrapped, unveiling the box that held the machine. Lifting the boxes flaps I was so impressed with the professional look of the product, this was definitely going to work, after all, it came with its own set of keys. It had a set of safety glasses just like I wear in the spa; it came with gel for before and after. This was definitely a company that knew what they were doing.
It took me a few days to muster up the courage to actually use the machine. I brought it over to my parent’s house. When I brought it out my mother evacuated my nephew from the room, and went into a small panic about the damage I was going to cause my eyes with the laser. Apparently my mother thinks I am stupid enough to point a hot laser into my eye.
I plugged it in and activated the machine with the safety key. I had my red glasses on when I activated the laser. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to aim a red laser when you are wearing red tinted glasses? The glasses came off, and I began to pinpoint my individual hairs set for destruction.
I’m not sure if I am doing this right. The hairs are actually lighting on fire, there is smoke and the room begins to smell like burning hair. Holy crap, it hurts too. I was prepared for a bit of quick pain but nothing like this, this is like getting burned with a lighter. To make it worse the hair burns down to the skin and then stops. I can still see that the hair below my skin is still fully intact. My solution to this is to continue hitting it with the laser.
By the time I am finished I have a patch of opened wounds with tiny singed hairs sticking out. I’m not ready to give up though; I try to help things along by pulling the singed hairs out with a tweezer. This leaves a bloody hole in my skin. At this point I stop.
Days go by and I now have a patch of scabs on my leg. It’s also the hottest week of the summer and I can’t wear shorts now because I look like I have a skin disease. To make it worse, the hairs are actually growing through the scabs. Is this a joke? They are laughing at me as they poke through the scabs.
Here is the part where I confess that I didn’t even stop with the patch on my leg. I also completed half of a Brazilian when I went home from my parents. If I thought the legs looked infected, well, you might be able to imagine how bad the pubic region looks covered in scabs.
That’s it. I am sending this thing back. I contact the company and let them know what has happened and that I will be returning the product. They respond with an apology and an address for returns, in Korea. I have 60 days to get it back from the time it was sent, so I quickly take it to Purolator and have it sent back at a cost of 70 dollars.
Weeks go by and I hear nothing. My scabs have now turned to scars and hair is still growing there. I check the Purolator tracking code to find that the package has arrived. I contact the company, and hear nothing, I contact them again, and again nothing. This continues for another 2 weeks.
Yesterday I went to the companies website to find it is down for construction. While looking for images online of the Xemos, I find a blog going into great detail about all the customers with similar stories. It’s at this point I know I am not getting my money.
Back to Present day
Me with children and less income
PS. I am hoping Big M is going to get me a NoNo for Valentines Day. I hear they don’t light people on fire. Hmmm…maybe things haven’t changed as much as I thought.